Does the energy in your home or workplace keep you from feeling at ease?

Do you feel uneasy in your home or work place?

At times the home may fall prey to storing negative energy, unwanted spirits/ghosts and other paranormal occurrences. This usually happens if there has been negative events within the home, such as violence, death, sickness, depression, or imbalance of the land etc. It can also occur due to spirits being drawn to a member of the household, or a spirit haunting a place due to unresolved issues. These events may be known to you, or they may have occurred prior to you living in the house in question. If you feel uncomfortable with the energy of your home, or you have had manifestations that are unwanted, it is advised that you have your home cleansed and blessed to prevent the negative energies from affecting you and your family.

Generally speaking there are two types of imbalance that can happen in a home. The first is the energy of the home being out of balance, and needing restoration. The home can absorb energy, and if the energy present in your home does not feel welcoming and calm, it may well need clearing to regain a sense of harmony. The second imbalance is for the home to be haunted by a spirit or ghost. In this situation there may be ghost or entity residing within the home that is out of place. Ghosts are the spirits of people who have not yet crossed over, and it is advised that they are assisted to do so, rather than to remain in this plane of existence. Most ghosts are not too troublesome, but there are situations where the spirit can have a very detrimental effect on those living within the house.

 Following is a list of some of the types of manifestations that may occur in a house that requires cleansing.

• A feeling of unease, heavy energy, not feeling comfortable in your home
• Feeling like you are being watched
• Seeing things dart past you out of the corner of your eye
• Feeling like you have been touched or grabbed
• Hearing strange noises, voices, footsteps etc
• Seeing strange lights
• Objects being moved about the house
• Objects being shaken, broken, flung across the room
• Strange foul odors
• Nightmares that are not usual
• Bad energy affecting those in the house causing arguments, a feeling of being jinxed, or a run of bad luck 
• Seeing full or part apparitions of spirits/ghosts/entities
• Extremes in temperature, usually cold
• Mists or clouds of smoke forming
• Dramatic change in personality and behavior of someone living within the house
• Animals that will not go into certain rooms
• Being physically attacked, held down, strangled etc by spirits/entities
• Doors slamming, lights blowing out and other violent manifestations

Obviously there is a wide range of possible manifestations that can occur. Some of the feelings may be intuited by you or others in your home, others still may present themselves to you in a very dramatic way. The important thing to remember is that you have the right to feel comfortable in your own home. For whatever the reason that the energy has become imbalanced, it is always a good idea to try to find out why, and to put an end to the disruption. Not all spirits that display manifestations in the home are negative, some are just lost or unable to move on, while others can be very nasty indeed.

If you feel that you would like your home or business cleansed and blessed I am able to do this by appointment. The process involves me coming to your address to sense what is out of balance in your home, followed by a ritualized cleansing. I like to use a mix of candles, incense, oils etc in conjunction with prayer (you are welcome to participate in the cleansing and blessing of you home). During a house blessing I will assess what is out of balance, make contact with any spirits that are within the property, clear the negative energy and help the spirit to cross over, as well as bless the property to ensure the home is protected and peaceful in the future. During the session I may also advise you on how to improve the energy of your home in simple ways, such as placement of objects and layout to encourage the best energy possible in your home. I have successfully performed house blessings and sprit clearings for dozens of families as well as working to improve the energy of retail shops and private business's.

Most house blessings take about an hour to perform, however this time can vary depending on the nature and intensity of the work required.

To begin with, the home or office has the ability to capture and hold low vibration and/or negative energy. Negative energy manifests through low vibration thoughts and ideas and is expressed mentally, physically or verbally. Anger, sadness, resentment, fights and arguments, bad thoughts or memories of events or people, hateful or harsh words spoken, etc in the home or office place can gather to develop negative energy.

Buying a new house? Moving into a new office space? Houses and buildings inherit energy from previous occupants so it’s always a good idea to cleanse the home or building of unwanted energy before even moving the first piece of furniture in.

My goal when clearing out the energy is to get rid of the old, stale negative energy, clear it, kick it out the door and replace it with good, clean clear loving happy energy.

Real Estate Agents and Landlords:

Are you having a hard time selling a particular house or keeping a house occupied with tenants? Does the house hold low vibrations from previous or current residents? Has a death, divorce or foreclosure happened in the home? If you said yes to these things, you may want to consider having the house cleansed of negative energy and blessed creating a more inviting atmosphere for new prospects. To set up an appointment please contact me!

In our daily lives we all have good days and bad days. Spaces where people are present, whether it is living, working or even just visiting, will collect all sorts of energies, some positive, some negative. In fact every person who visits a space, if even for a brief period, will leave energies behind that will linger. Doing a regular cleansing and purification, preferably every month, will clear these energies that accumulate and make for a much more peaceful and balanced abode.

Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel

St. Michael the Archangel

How the original Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel was created

One day, after celebrating Mass, the aged Pope Leo XIII was in conference with the Cardinals when suddenly he sank to the floor in a deep swoon. Physicians who hastened to his side could find no trace of his pulse and feared that he had expired. However, after a short interval the Holy Father regained consciousness and exclaimed with great emotion: "Oh, what a horrible picture I have been permitted to see!"


He had been shown a vision of evil spirits who had been released from Hell and their efforts to destroy the Church. But in the midst of the horror the archangel St. Michael appeared and cast Satan and his legions into the abyss of hell. Soon afterwards Pope Leo XIII composed the following prayer to Saint Michael, which is the original version:

Original - Prayer to St. Michael

“O Glorious Prince of the heavenly host, St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in the battle and in the terrible warfare that we are waging against the principalities and powers, against the rulers of this world of darkness, against the evil spirits. Come to the aid of man, whom Almighty God created immortal, made in His own image and likeness, and redeemed at a great price from the tyranny of Satan.

“Fight this day the battle of the Lord, together with the holy angels, as already thou hast fought the leader of the proud angels, Lucifer, and his apostate host, who were powerless to resist thee, nor was there place for them any longer in Heaven. That cruel, ancient serpent, who is called the devil or Satan who seduces the whole world, was cast into the abyss with his angels. Behold, this primeval enemy and slayer of men has taken courage. Transformed into an angel of light, he wanders about with all the multitude of wicked spirits, invading the earth in order to blot out the name of God and of His Christ, to seize upon, slay and cast into eternal perdition souls destined for the crown of eternal glory. This wicked dragon pours out, as a most impure flood, the venom of his malice on men of depraved mind and corrupt heart, the spirit of lying, of impiety, of blasphemy, and the pestilent breath of impurity, and of every vice and iniquity.

“These most crafty enemies have filled and inebriated with gall and bitterness the Church, the spouse of the immaculate Lamb, and have laid impious hands on her most sacred possessions. In the Holy Place itself, where the See of Holy Peter and the Chair of Truth has been set up as the light of the world, they have raised the throne of their abominable impiety, with the iniquitous design that when the Pastor has been struck, the sheep may be.

“Arise then, O invincible Prince, bring help against the attacks of the lost spirits to the people of God, and give them the victory. They venerate thee as their protector and patron; in thee holy Church glories as her defense against the malicious power of hell; to thee has God entrusted the souls of men to be established in heavenly beatitude. Oh, pray to the God of peace that He may put Satan under our feet, so far conquered that he may no longer be able to hold men in captivity and harm the Church. Offer our prayers in the sight of the Most High, so that they may quickly find mercy in the sight of the Lord; and vanquishing the dragon, the ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, do thou again make him captive in the abyss, that he may no longer seduce the nations. Amen.

V. Behold the Cross of the Lord; be scattered ye hostile powers.

R. The Lion of the tribe of Judah has conquered the root of David.

V. Let Thy mercies be upon us, O Lord.

R. As we have hoped in Thee.

V. O Lord, hear my prayer.

R. And let my cry come unto Thee.
Let us pray.

O God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, we call upon Thy holy Name, and as supplicants, we implore Thy clemency, that by the intercession of Mary, ever Virgin Immaculate and our Mother, and of the glorious St. Michael the Archangel, Thou wouldst deign to help us against Satan and all the other unclean spirits who wander about the world for the injury of the human race and the ruin of souls. Amen.”

Roman Raccolta, July 23, 1898, supplement approved July 31, 1902,
London: Burnes, Oates & Washbourne Ltd., 1935, 12th edition.

Short Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel

The well-known short version of this prayer follows in English and Latin. The Pope ordered this prayer to be recited daily after Low Mass in all the churches throughout the Catholic world. However this practice was almost completely swept away in the 1960s by liturgical changes made in the wake of Vatican Council II.

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the malice and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.

In the orignal latin:

Sancte Michael Archangele, defende nos in praelio. Contra nequitiam et insidias diaboli esto praesidium. Imperet illi Deus, supplices deprecamur. Tuque princeps militiae caelestis, Satanam aliosque spiritus malignos, qui ad perditionem animarum pervagantur in mundo divina virtute in infernum detrude. Amen.

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A word about spirit guides

"The first peace, which is the most important,

is that which comes within the souls of people

when they realize their relationship, their oneness,

with the universe and all its powers,

and when they realize that at the center of the universe

dwells the Great Spirit,

and that this center is really everywhere,

it is within each of us."

~ Black Elk - Oglala Sioux ~

Whenever I start to write an article regarding spiritual matters I give a few minutes to “spirit” and quiet my monkey rambling mind to the peace of pure energy. That same driving force that has created everything including the planet we live on. How fascinating it is at times to think we are hurling through space at approximately 67,108 mph, while we can sit here and write things of which we can only begin to glimpse any knowledge of, but I digress.


I had a wonderful conversation with an online friend who works in the field of spiritual enlightenment and we talked for a short while on the matter of spirit guides. Within the last year they had lost a dear loved one to a brain hemorrhage. Truly a horrible way to die, but worse there were loved ones here who felt simply lost without the peace of this wonderful man on Earth.


She asked me if it was some sort of karmic reasoning behind his untimely death, if perhaps he did or did not do something he was supposed to and that was why his life was taken. I did my best to console her and remind her that this sort of thing is like a ticking time bomb in a person’s body and there was nothing a doctor could really have done without him being in a hospital with a scanner going checking out something else in his head. They would have had to have had him already in a hospital and even then he may still have died.


The beauty of this man’s spirit came off in the picture that my lady friend sent to me, and it was clear that he was and still is a driving force even now. One of the very last things he had said to her was that he would never leave her. And for quite some time after his death she could still feel him in a very real earth time presence.


Her questions though began when that “feeling” quit; it had been a number of days and she could not feel him on any level. She came to me to help her understand what may have happened to the man who said he would never leave her side.


Many times we can still have a real presence connection to loved ones who have touched our lives and have since passed into the full spiritual side of the body. We are wonderfully and gloriously made; we are mind, body and spirit. We mostly give all of that lip service and do not really fully understand that once we die we evolve into spirit from where we emanated. Once our physical body serves us no longer we can move into a new more complete body of light and energy.


This energy can take form, presence and is very real. When we pass over into this new fuller energy we can move through time and space without any interference. We can see loved ones hear them touch them even; all of which depends on our personal guides who are waiting for us when this crossing over occurs. We learn how to fully embrace love, compassion and if we desire we can stay with those who we love.


This bond here on Earth is extremely powerful nothing destroys love, just as nothing destroys energy. Our loved ones through the power of prayer, and the compassionate act of love can draw their loved ones near at any time. Learning how to reach out only takes a short amount of time, and the willingness to let go of fear, and forgiving the person for dying.


My lady friend was upset and somewhat angry that her best friend in the entire world left her. I had to make her understand that in her desperation to hold onto something; in this case the anger, she was holding herself back from making another connection with him. I told her once she made a real attempt to let that be part of her grieving past, and make a better choice to just simply love she would reconnect.


I would venture to say that everyone has a spirit guide; mostly they are ancestors who have a particular passion for assisting their living line to progress in spiritual awareness; however in saying that there are those guides for which there is no real explanation that they find a particular person and walk with them for a while. You can think of a spiritual guide like this: someone who has a particular expertise in events of the living world, and has the ability to bring out potential in others.


You can recognize your guide in a number of ways. It may be a song that won’t quit playing in your head; it may be a series of numbers, a scent that takes you by surprise like that of tobacco or a perfume essence. It may be a thought that inspires you to take a different road, or make a different decision that turns out to be better for your circumstance.


It is not so much important to know exactly who it is, or how it works what is important is that it happens every day of your life and you probably don’t even realize it. Becoming aware is the first step in understand the importance of your spiritual guide allowing for him or her to show you in the quiet of your mind.


How to call upon your guide:


There are many ways a person can be introduced to their spirit guides; mainly however, the process is all relatively the same. In a quiet space either indoors or in nature tune you focus towards the light inwards that gives you breathe. As you become aware of your spiritual body begin to become aware of your breathing. Breathing in through your nose into your lungs deep as you can breathe in the light (you may color this light any hue you enjoy). As you breathe out from your mouth allow the color to form around your external body. Keep doing this breathing exercise until you’re sure that your body is in a complete colored bubble.


Now that you have extended your spirit you can now touch those guides with your energy and allow them to make themselves present to you. Do not worry that you may attract anything of a negative nature as your internal spirit will not allow anything to harm you during this exercise.


As you feel your energy connecting to your guide ask that they reveal their name within 20-30 seconds you will get a knowing or understanding of their name and gender. Do not be concerned if the name sounds odd, or unfamiliar. As I made mention earlier it is possible for anyone living who has crossed over to reach out and assist someone on the earth plane. Guides also come in all forms both human and animal. For now we will concentrate on the human form.


After you receive the name make the connection by saying it aloud three times. Breathe in deeply through the nose and release with the mouth. Before taking the next breathe say the name of your guide. When you are finished with the exercise write down any impressions you receive, and any thoughts you may have to ask your guide in the next session.


For those who have been introduced into the church with regard to the holy spirit once you have this presence in your life it will NEVER leave you no matter how much you feel like you are alone. You can call upon the Holy Spirit to help guide you through any situation where you feel spiritual guidance is required. If you feel you are afraid and in need of protection you can call upon the Holy Spirit to help banish any evil presence in your home or around you.


SPIRITUS SANCTUS INVICTUS


THE HOLY SPIRIT CAN NOT BE CONQUERED.


Your loved ones can see you, hear you and want to be a part of your living life as long as you place your grief in proper perspective and allow your love to shine through in due time, you too will find this peace and allow them to guide you from the other side.

Hope for the future

A human can live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air, but only for one second without hope.

It is possible that all your life you have been told the things you could never do. You're not good enough, strong enough, and talented enough; you're the wrong height, weight, color, social class. You will never amount to anything beyond these small four little walls so you might as well face it. These are horrible wrong utterances made many times by family members, or social peers because they lacked the ability to see beyond their meaningless lives. If you continue to listen you can trap yourself into a personal hell that goes well beyond this life. The decision to do nothing is sometimes just as bad if not worse than doing something. Many times clients will say if I don't do anything and just wait to see what happens next then perhaps I will find happiness. What I say here is that if you choose to let someone do your thinking for you then you have already lost.

Why would someone let another make their personal choice decisions for them? It is based on what they have experienced as younger people. They watch their parents, their friends, social media, and worse the television and decide that what they are seeing IS the way it’s supposed to be. What does it mean to go against the grain and start to think for yourself? It means freedom, it might not seem like you're doing much, but once you open your mind to the possibility that things can change, that you deserve to see where your personal life road map can take you, and it’s amazing.

I have talked to many clients who were at a crossroad trying to decide what they should do, or if they should do anything at all. Some were very young just starting out on their adult life, but having a long period of time being told you can't, because you're just not good enough. Hearing things like that makes me want to go against my Buddhist teachings and find the person(s) responsible for taking their hope away, and do something not very socially acceptable.

Too many times we run into people who have just given up on themselves, and there is no way that they want anyone around them to be happy, or successful. It makes them feel useless, tired and worthless so they prefer to keep themselves surrounded by superficial things, and place a mask on their face to keep from showing the world that they really are hurting inside; they just don’t know how to do anything else.

When you are faced with insurmountable odds, and no one to give you an emotional boost what do you do? Usually when someone comes to me for a reading I and they tell me that they have so much stuff on their minds they just don’t know what to do; I ask them a question that they don’t generally expect. I say what type of pie do you like if they say they don’t like pie I say fine then what sort of cake do you like. Once the answer is given I can then proceed to show them how they can break down their situation into small chunks.

So I am asking you the reader are you at a crossroad? What is your favorite pie, cake? Myself I love Mocha java triple chocolate cake. Now, just pretend for a moment that you went to your favorite specialty store bought the best ingredients for your desert; then came home and carefully and lovingly prepared the batter, then baked it to perfection. Of course you let it cool and then finish it off however, you like it. Tell me something, would you then go about sitting down and gorging yourself on the entire desert, or take a slice and be satisfied?

Most would answer when asked either out of modesty or just simple reaction that they would take a slice. Now then why would you try to take all your personal troubles and try to eat all of them mentally or emotionally at one time?

There is no way that anyone not even the best shrink in the world can take all of life’s situations and make them all work all at once. What I tell the client next is to prioritize what is honestly troubling them, list it on paper this process makes it concrete. Sure they are already thinking in their head they know what the problems are, but until they see them in some sort of physical manner it’s still just stuck in their head causing more stress. I have them make three lists to prioritize their current situation: things that are most pending, things that have moderate stress, and finally what they find only mildly annoying. Once this is done then we can take things into perspective and move through what is really the cause of their stress.

Methodically taking each situation and breaking it down so that it becomes less traumatic has many benefits. It shows the client that they can take control of their life, and it gives them confidence to do it by themselves when they don’t have me around. And the eventual goal is for them to not need my services anymore.

Yeah I did say that. My way of working with clients is not like most. I want people to move beyond needing someone to show them that they can do whatever it is to be successful. It has in a lot of times created a lack of income in my life, but when I can talk to someone and they can tell me they are happy, peaceful and confident I am thankful that they were able to do it on their own.

This world is a huge place and there is always someone somewhere that is gonna need a hand up to help them see how to re-gain their peace of mind, or learn how to obtain it in the first place. How blessed I am to be able to be there for them to bring them out of the dark into the light.

You're blessed simply because you breathe

Meditation Styles for Personal Development

"At the moment of waking up, before getting out of bed, get in touch with your breath, feel the various sensations in your body, not any thoughts and feeling that maybe present, let mindfulness touch this moment. Can you feel your breath? Can you perceive the dawning of each in breath? Can you enjoy the feeling of the breath freely entering your body in this moment?" "Breathe in I smile, breathe out I calm my body, dwelling in the present moment, it is a wonderful moment."

Thich Nhat Hanh

Many styles of meditation practice exist today. They generally involve focusing on energy centers in the body, concentrating on an image, chanting, or breathing exercises. Regardless of the style, they all share a common goal – to silence thought. When thought ceases a connection to the world of light, wisdom and pure consciousness occurs.

In the last decade meditation has become an important, although still minor, healing modality used by psychotherapists and rehabilitation institutions. It is being studied at the world’s largest universities. Science is finally confirming what was known to yogis for millennia: meditation helps us to heal emotionally, has a calming effect on our nerves, balances blood pressure, has excellent stress reduction properties, helps us to relax and to control pain. But whatever the ‘worldly’ benefits of meditation, its most important application is spiritual growth, which is impossible without contemplative practice.

The term "meditation" is often used both to denote the process or technique of meditation, as well as the state "elicited" by meditation practice. Usually during meditation there is concentration on a particular object or idea, such as a flower, a candle flame, a sound, a word (mantra), an image of a deity, or the act of breathing.

The state "elicited" by meditation depends on the nature of the person, on the method of meditation and on the experience of the meditator. Relaxation and the experience of inner peace, an improvement in relationships with relatives and friends, as well as an increase in the ability to concentrate and a clarification of the reasoning faculty, are natural signs that the practice of meditation is working. So with so many different types of meditation how is one to pick the right one? Let us examine some different types of meditation starting with Outer Path Meditation.

There is yoga meditation, holistic meditation for health, and Divine Light meditation. In Asia there is Confucian, Taoist, and Hindu forms of meditation. All these types of practices are Outer Path Meditation. This type of practice is attached to an object, or state of being. The outcome that is desired is a good feeling or feeling of tranquility. However, as with all things, states of being are in constant flux. And once the desired affect wears off or is more difficult to attain the individual becomes less enchanted with the practice. In the practice of this meditation one creates some happiness, but once this is achieved there is also its counterbalance unhappiness. This will always happen when your practice is based on an object or a feeling that you are attached too. When the person looses the object, or cannot keep it, they will loose their feelings of happiness as well. Meditation that is attached to some object or idea is called Outer Path Meditation.


Another form meditation is Common People’s Meditation this is any method of meditation that is used to improve performance. People who do this meditation are looking to get something. It is sometimes called concentration meditation. There are people who do meditation as part of their marital arts practice. Thinking ‘if I do this in this manner I will obtain greater results.’ It is also a popular method to teach writing, drawing, and painting. Some people use this type of meditation as they work with their therapist. Some use it to relieve mental and physical stress. All of these activities can be helped with the use of this form of meditation, but it cannot help you completely attain your true nature. The reasoning behind this statement is because performance meditation has its concentration on the I, me, my states of being. This is not the way to become free of suffering. That is because, by its very nature, want-something meditation always makes subject and object, good and bad. If you practice with this state of mind you are practicing Common People’s Meditation.

Mahayana Meditation is based on the six fundamental insights of Mahayana teachings: insight into the existence and nonexistence of the Dharmas; insight into the nature of form and emptiness; insight into existence and the Middle Way; insight into the nature of phenomena; insight into the interpenetration of all phenomena; and insight which sees that phenomena themselves are the Absolute. The practice of these six insights can be expressed by the teaching of the Avatamsaka-sutra: "If you wish to thoroughly understand all the Buddha of the past, present, and future, then you should view the nature of the whole universe as being created by the mind alone."

"Meditation brings wisdom; lack of meditation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to wisdom."

Buddha

Mindfulness is another form of meditation. It is meditation in action, and it is how we integrate meditation into all aspects of our daily lives until our whole life itself has become meditation. It is based on the Buddhist principle that whatever you focus on, you become. Buddhist believe that the mind is fluid. Whatever thought forms you hold in your mind will determine its shape.

"Do you think that you can clear your mind by sitting constantly in silent meditation? This makes your mind narrow, not clear. Integral awareness is fluid and adaptable, present in all places and at all times. That is true meditation… The Tao is clear and simple, and it doesn’t avoid the world."

Lao Tzu (c.604-531 B.C.E) from The Hua Hu Ching, (52)Chakra Meditation involves concentration on energy centers that are found in the astral (subtle-physical) body. These energy centers are located along a nonphysical energy tube called the sushumna. The sushumna in the astral body corresponds to the spinal column in the physical body, starting at the base of the spine and ending at the ‘third eye,’ between the eyebrows and a little above. Seven primary chakras are found at different points along the sushumna. Chi (energy) sits at the base of the spine in the first chakra.

During chakra meditation, chi is pulled from the first chakra up through the sushumna to the third eye. The desired affect of chakra meditation is to reach a point called Samadhi, or an enlightened state of being. Once a person has reached Samadhi a number of time the practitioner is well on their way to becoming enlightenment itself. When first learning this form of meditation it is best to focus at least 5 minutes on each chakra. The more advanced you become the longer you can stay at each point.

"It is not the number of books you read, nor the variety of sermons you hear, nor the amount of religious conversation in which you mix, but it is the frequency and earnestness with which you meditate on these things till the truth in them becomes your own and part of your being, that ensures your growth."


Frederick William Robertson (1816-1883) English American clergyman


The last mediation that I will discuss is Mantra meditation. Mantras were sacred words or phrases which, when repeated in meditation, bring the individual into a higher state of consciousness. The sounds that are produced during mantra meditation are a form of energy, which creates a connection to the worlds of light and spirituality. You can chant a mantra our loud, in a whisper, or just mentally let it vibrate within your mind. Perhaps the most famous mantra is OM MANI PADME HUM which translates as "the jewel in the heart of the lotus" or "Enlightenment is within everything." Chanting a mantra repeatedly for the duration of your meditation session will, over time, develop your abilities of meditation and concentration.


In closing, meditation is a powerful tool, one that not only provides us the opportunity to view life more closely, but also to slow it down and return to center. It helps us to remember what is really important, understanding our true calling in life. Through regular and persistent meditation we gradually become calm, centered and eventually we become free.


"When we talk about gaining the perfect wisdom of Buddha, we should not think that we need to create qualities in ourselves that are not there already, and acquire them from somewhere outside of us. Rather, we should see perfect Buddha wisdom as a potential that is being realized.

--H.H. The Dali Lama from "The Four Noble Truths" (Thorsons 1977)

The Soul Mate Fallacy: Deconstructing the Relationship Myth

The Soul Mate Fallacy

Deconstructing the Relationship Myth 

"The purpose of relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness."   Neale Donald Walsch

There are many different theories of how we became to be in our form having thoughts, needs, and desires. Why we are so diverse and why we seem to be so fixated on the idea of having one person complete us to the point where we need them in order to have a feeling of wholeness. Many times I have spoken to clients who just want to know who their soul mate is and when can they find happiness. Having been a reader since 1986 I have seen a lot of lives absolutely destroyed based on either not finding their one single person, or finding someone whom they feel is their soul mate, but just does not respond no matter what they do. I knew that the phrase soul mate was created back in the 1970's, but I really was more interested in finding out who was responsible for so much grief and misconception about relationships.

It starts far back in the time of Plato when he wrote Symposium. Speaking in the voice of Aristophanes he attempted to explain human sexuality as an intervention by Zeus. In this allegorical tale he told of multi-limbed creatures that were similar to humans, and explained why people in love felt “whole” when they met their ideal mate. Things were not as they are now beings used to be connected to another body. There were three types of beings who were like spherical creatures that wheeled around by their hands and feet doing what appear to be cartwheels. There were three different types of these creatures, or humans: two males, two females, or those who were androgynous, both male and female. Zeus had decided that these creatures were powerful, and that if they ever decided to get upset at the gods, they might be able to take over full power over everything. This idea came to fruition when the beings had tried to climb to the summit of heaven and cause war against the gods.

Zues decided that although he liked being worshiped and adored, he needed to put things on a more even keel. So he split the beings into separate persons, and created distraction among them so that they would take their minds off conquering heaven and concentrate on seeking out their other halves the one(s) that they were born with to live out their lives.

More recently, some have attempted to further “prove” the concept of a single “soul mate” by stating that the penultimate authority, Edgar Cayce, mentioned it in his prophecies. I am an admirer of the “sleeping prophet” who was one of the most successful psychics and medical intuitive in the United States, but I need to add that although he did skirt close to the subject, what he actually did say, many times was that there was not just one person who was perfect match. There were many relationship possibilities for each person.

When you meet someone who you feel like you have known before, but can’t place from where they are part of your soul experience. Your soul contains your entire memory of life experiences; however your present cognitive memory will not normally recall these memories.

These people you come into contact with were you feel this instant response in your soul have traveled with you in some aspect in past lives. Have you ever seen someone and right off you wanted to be by their side? This person has had a soul experience with you in the past. Also, it works the other way if you have seen someone and on sight decided you needed to leave they too have had a life experience with you. So as you can see the perceptions can be either positive or negative. What you do about these situations is based on your intuition or soul response. The whole reason why we are on the planet is to learn from each other. Edgar Cayce believed that we were to have both positive and negative experiences in order for the soul to grow and fully understand what it is to be human.

Helen Fisher PhD, and inspiration of Match. Com, studied thousands of couples during the 70's her focus was based on how people became interested in each other, and what made the relationship work or fall apart in the end. She wrote a book called Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. In this study she discussed 3 major reasons why there is such a strong drive to have physical connections. Each one of these reasoning's are connected to the brain for both sexual satisfaction, and in some cases the drive to reproduce. They are as follows: Lust: the strong physical desire to have sex with somebody, usually without associated feelings of love or affection, Attraction: a quality or feature that attracts somebody and, Attachment: an emotional bond or tie to somebody or something. Even in 2010 she is regarded as a prominent voice with regard to the human condition as it relates to relationships.

It is clear that any one of these reasoning's could start a relationship, but to keep a relationship moving into a long term lasting thing there is more required. Lust generally throws both partners into a bond that is purely physical, and rarely if ever broadens into anything more than just a short fling. If both individuals understand that this is simply a short sided encounter they have no delusions that it will turn into anything more, and allow it to begin and end without developing emotional attachments. Relationships that are built on attraction have more influence in how a person feels about their selves, and what they feel they deserve in a partner.

There are at times very strong pre-existing emotional ties to their viewpoints much of which is based on what they have viewed in their homes as juveniles, and later as teens. If a couple comes together based on similar experiences, and connect on an emotional level then there is a good chance that this relationship has a solid basis for a lasting relationship once they have decided if they are physically compatible as well, as emotionally connected. Finally, when a person becomes attached to someone it can either be the start of a wonderful fulfilled relationship, or one of extreme obsession. Attachment is needed to complete a pair bond it is necessary for both people to feel like they are loved completely. This healthy ideal is based on compassion, and a deep desire to see each other succeed in all areas of their lives. Those blessed with this bond can go beyond the physical needs, and experience a love that is boundless. However, being involved in an incomplete pairing can lead to feelings of despair, anxiety, detachment and in some instances suicide. What Helen Fisher, PhD did was put a name to different physical and emotional reactions we as humans experience while searching for our next partner

In 1977, Dorothy Tennov PhD, described some of the earlier findings of Helen Fisher by coining the term Limerence, "...being madly and overwhelmingly in love to the point of obsession." There is a feeling of euphoria, and a complete denial of any rational behavior. This person has been convinced that they have met their soul mate that someone who completes them. This person who is in limerence is truly incapable of logical thought, and is primarily concerned with pleasing their object of affection. A person who is in limerence will deny themselves, in some instances, to the point of incapacity.

If this occurs they find that they no longer have a desire to please their self, and will often loose sight of their self concept thereby fully embracing an unhealthy desire to continue this behavior. If their object of affection is narcissistic they will do whatever they can to continue the behavior as long as it suits them. However, once this attention is no longer suiting their needs they will withdraw and in this action will cause the person in limerence to become more forceful in their attentions. Having convinced their selves that all they need to do is fight for the continuance even if it leads to destructive behavior.

They may have friends, family mental health care provider, or even a professional psychic telling them that this is not a real relationship, and there is nothing that can be done to fix it, but they are convinced that their love interest actually wants them. The following is a list of ideals associated with the term soul mate. Take a moment to look over the list and see if you or someone you know may be saying these things about the person they are interested in:

• Someone who completes you
• Someone who accepts you no matter what.
• Someone who has the unique capacity to love you more fully than anyone else on the planet.
• Someone for whom you would not have to make major compromises.
• Someone with whom you have a deep connection that is not based on infatuation.
• Someone who is your greatest friend.
• Someone who you feel God has brought to you.

When looking for a partner many people seek out traits that have been listed above. They have been taught by multiple sources how they should feel and act when it comes to finding a partner. When initially they do find someone and they seem to have everything come together quickly and effortlessly they say yes, this person is the one.

In the beginning of the relationship there is a lot of contact, late night calls, early day excitement all things that seem wonderful just like Sex In The City. Then after a while the calls start to wane, the visits dwindle and then reality starts to edge in.

It’s a wonderful life when at first sweeps you off your feet and into bliss. What can possibly go wrong? When you loose yourself in the abandonment of love you also stand to loose more than your unhappiness you stand to loose yourself.

I can not begin to tell you how many times a client has come to me in tears completely beside themselves trying to figure out just where they went wrong when a relationship falls apart. And then they decide that they will do just about anything to make it work.

As a reader and a spiritual advisor I often find myself in the position of becoming a mentor as well. As long as the client has a clear head and is open to truly working on all areas of their life I can assist them in creating new habits that can prove to be more efficient in creating relationship bonds. The most important thing to learn when you are ready to face reality is: You are born being a whole individual. You were not made imperfect and that you are blessed simply because you breathe. Next if you are interested in seeking out someone else this person must be someone who is caring, compassionate, and gives you respect enough to be yourself.

You might say you are yourself when you are with someone and they still leave, or I just have to get away from them. You meet someone they are simply wonderful everything about them makes you want to yell on the highest mountain top I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE! For days, weeks, even months you are on an emotional high and everything is perfect. Then you realize that friends are calling and saying hey where you been? You quit doing things you used to enjoy, and picked up a new routine of doing for your love interest. You stopped being you. This new someone has to remember that you had a life before they came in, and that for you to continue to be that same person they fell in love with you have to have your time too.

Many people ask me why they keep finding the same sorts of people to choose for a mate. Again it goes back to what you learned when you were younger, and the kinds of social situations you found yourself in as you were moving through your 20’s. How do you value your self worth? If you are in the mindset that you deserve peace, and consistency in all areas of your life then you most likely had a good example when you were younger. If however, your life was full of chaos and there was no consistency then you will most likely go through your life from relationship to relationship seeking peace, and finding only heartache and distrust.

Learning that this whole ideal of soul mates was initially formed to explain how people were formed as we are now is simply bizarre. Information is power and I am here to let you know that you can find that peace of mind along with a healthy relationship.

Part of this new perspective is to learn that there is no one person on this rock we call Earth that is just solely for you. You constantly evolve everything around you changes you. Even if you are agoraphobic you can still take in information by connecting to the internet and talking in chat rooms, or looking at social media. How you deal with this information can determine where you are in your personal life. If you expect to merely sit by and wait for something to happen you will end up severely disappointed.

What about praying and letting God bring this special someone to you? Prayer is extremely important to feeling secure and fulfilled to many individuals even those who come to me for advice. When someone says I have been praying and I have still not found my special someone. It is my opinion that God helps those who help themselves, and God is not going to do the hard work for you. I tell my clients who pray to whomever they feel guides them in their spiritual matters pray often, but do so with clarity.

If you are precise in what it is that you need, and what you are going to do to improve on your life then you will succeed. How do you create this success? You can create your future through the art of manifesting. Now, don’t go getting all wound up I don’t believe in just willy nilly think good thoughts and things happen. The art of manifesting ones future has a great deal to do with learning positive ways to handle life’s situations through physical, mental and spiritual work. It’s not that things will all the sudden become easier it’s that when you do things smarter you can create better results; thereby, creating your own road map to success.

Plato's Symposium: http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/1600

Edgar Cayce Soul mates: http://www.intuitive-connections.net/2003/book-soulmates.htm

Helen Fisher: http://www.helenfisher.com/

Dorothy Tennov PhD and Limerence: http://www.marriagehelper.com/soul_mate.php

*Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who is helping me get the bugs out of this chapter, and I sincerely hope that it gives you all hope and clarity to help you live your life more fully.

If you are interested in a reading with Jackie Chin call 330-824-1286

A Course in Psychic Awareness

STEP 1: THE ART OF OBSERVATION 

     Before you waste any time wondering if you have any psychic abilities, or whether you can actually develop them, let me clear up the issue by saying that you do have psychic abilities and you can easily develop them. Everyone has psychic abilities! The question is how you develop them.

     Would you believe that you can radically increase your psychic abilities by practicing for 5-10 minutes a day? All you need is pen and paper. Don't think about your psychic abilities as something "special" or "difficult to learn. Learning to use your psychic abilities is no more difficult than learning to bake a cake - you're just using different ingredients!

     Before we dive into instructions about how to increase your abilities, let's define what we mean by psychic abilities. When you are using psychic awareness you are extending beyond what is already in your psychic realm. Things that are beyond your five sense that of taste, touch, smell, hearing and sight. If you are able to access information from your spiritual center you can accomplish many extraordinary things. With these abilities you can gleam information that you could not possibly know about people, places and things. With practice you can even go to places and see things without even leaving your home, or office. that

     Here's a simple exercise that will help you develop your psychic abilities. With this exercise your goal is to practice using your Spirit abilities to access information that you can't access with your five senses. Here's how you do it:

1. Bring pen, paper and a watch or timer to a very public location that has lots of people. Fast food restaurants, airports or malls are good places to start.

2. Seat yourself in a comfortable location where you can easily write, observe people and see your timer or clock.

3. Pick a person to observe (you will need to observe him or her for 30 seconds). Set your timer for 30 seconds and start writing.

4. Write anything and everything that comes up about that person, whether you can directly observe it or not. It's easier to start by writing what you can observe about the person (such as hair color, clothing, activities and so forth). Don't think about what you are writing and don't allow yourself to pause. Don't worry about whether you're observations are correct or not. Write as much as you can and as fast as you can.

5. Once the 30 seconds is up, pick another person to observe, set your timer and start writing.

6. Observe 10 people during a span of 5 minutes.

To give you an example of what you might right, look at the paragraph below:

     Man, blond hair, jeans, has kids, mustache, kind, loves sports, likes water, has a brother, works outdoors, in tune with Nature, born in the West or has a connection to the West, nice tan, sneakers, talking with someone, talks with hand gestures, works well with hands, sensitive hands, sensitive nature, enjoys people, likes the color red, wears red a lot, brown eyes, around 40, jazz music, smiles a lot.

     You'll notice in the short description above that there are many descriptions that can be seen with the five senses - the color of his hair, the way he talks with his hands, the color of his eyes and his tan. In between, though, are descriptors that can't be seen with the five senses - that he has a brother, he is in tune with Nature, likes the color red and jazz music. Notice that I didn't write that he likes jazz music, plays jazz music or listens to jazz music. I just wrote "jazz music." There may be someone around him to plays jazz music or he may like to listen to jazz music. Those details didn't come up so I just wrote jazz music. Be sure to write whatever comes up - no editing!!

     It doesn't matter if any of your descriptions, especially those that are done with Spirit abilities, are actually correct. The goal is to practice accessing information with these abilities. The correctness of your observation will improve with time. Practice this exercise as often as you can - any time you are waiting for a bus, sitting at a restaurant or resting in a public setting. If you don't get out much, you can do the same exercise by turning the volume off your TV and observing the people on TV.

     You'll find that with practice you will develop the ability to simply look at people and know what they are like, what's going on in their lives and what is important to them. The more you practice, the better you'll get. The key is not to get attached to the correctness of what you right. The less you judge yourself the more correct your observations will become. Good luck!