It is possible that all your life you have been told the things you could never do. You're not good enough, strong enough, and talented enough; you're the wrong height, weight, color, social class. You will never amount to anything beyond these small four little walls so you might as well face it. These are horrible wrong utterances made many times by family members, or social peers because they lacked the ability to see beyond their meaningless lives. If you continue to listen you can trap yourself into a personal hell that goes well beyond this life. The decision to do nothing is sometimes just as bad if not worse than doing something. Many times clients will say if I don't do anything and just wait to see what happens next then perhaps I will find happiness. What I say here is that if you choose to let someone do your thinking for you then you have already lost.
Why would someone let another make their personal choice decisions for them? It is based on what they have experienced as younger people. They watch their parents, their friends, social media, and worse the television and decide that what they are seeing IS the way it’s supposed to be. What does it mean to go against the grain and start to think for yourself? It means freedom, it might not seem like you're doing much, but once you open your mind to the possibility that things can change, that you deserve to see where your personal life road map can take you, and it’s amazing.
I have talked to many clients who were at a crossroad trying to decide what they should do, or if they should do anything at all. Some were very young just starting out on their adult life, but having a long period of time being told you can't, because you're just not good enough. Hearing things like that makes me want to go against my Buddhist teachings and find the person(s) responsible for taking their hope away, and do something not very socially acceptable.
Too many times we run into people who have just given up on themselves, and there is no way that they want anyone around them to be happy, or successful. It makes them feel useless, tired and worthless so they prefer to keep themselves surrounded by superficial things, and place a mask on their face to keep from showing the world that they really are hurting inside; they just don’t know how to do anything else.
When you are faced with insurmountable odds, and no one to give you an emotional boost what do you do? Usually when someone comes to me for a reading I and they tell me that they have so much stuff on their minds they just don’t know what to do; I ask them a question that they don’t generally expect. I say what type of pie do you like if they say they don’t like pie I say fine then what sort of cake do you like. Once the answer is given I can then proceed to show them how they can break down their situation into small chunks.
So I am asking you the reader are you at a crossroad? What is your favorite pie, cake? Myself I love Mocha java triple chocolate cake. Now, just pretend for a moment that you went to your favorite specialty store bought the best ingredients for your desert; then came home and carefully and lovingly prepared the batter, then baked it to perfection. Of course you let it cool and then finish it off however, you like it. Tell me something, would you then go about sitting down and gorging yourself on the entire desert, or take a slice and be satisfied?
Most would answer when asked either out of modesty or just simple reaction that they would take a slice. Now then why would you try to take all your personal troubles and try to eat all of them mentally or emotionally at one time?
There is no way that anyone not even the best shrink in the world can take all of life’s situations and make them all work all at once. What I tell the client next is to prioritize what is honestly troubling them, list it on paper this process makes it concrete. Sure they are already thinking in their head they know what the problems are, but until they see them in some sort of physical manner it’s still just stuck in their head causing more stress. I have them make three lists to prioritize their current situation: things that are most pending, things that have moderate stress, and finally what they find only mildly annoying. Once this is done then we can take things into perspective and move through what is really the cause of their stress.
Methodically taking each situation and breaking it down so that it becomes less traumatic has many benefits. It shows the client that they can take control of their life, and it gives them confidence to do it by themselves when they don’t have me around. And the eventual goal is for them to not need my services anymore.
Yeah I did say that. My way of working with clients is not like most. I want people to move beyond needing someone to show them that they can do whatever it is to be successful. It has in a lot of times created a lack of income in my life, but when I can talk to someone and they can tell me they are happy, peaceful and confident I am thankful that they were able to do it on their own.
This world is a huge place and there is always someone somewhere that is gonna need a hand up to help them see how to re-gain their peace of mind, or learn how to obtain it in the first place. How blessed I am to be able to be there for them to bring them out of the dark into the light.
You're blessed simply because you breathe